let's talk about sex...meet a sw thriver

Sex after cancer – it’s a thing.  I’m sure many of you know what I am talking about, some of you may not (hopefully that’s a good thing!).  As Warriors, we know the toll cancer treatments have on our bodies.  For women, chemotherapy, radiation and hormone therapy can inhibit normal vaginal lubrication, resulting in extreme dryness and shrinking of the tissues, leading to painful sex.  

I was in my late 40s when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Fortunately, it was caught early – stage 1, but because my tumor tested positive for a high chance of recurrence, I underwent four chemotherapy treatments.  When I finished, my husband and I took a trip to celebrate the (almost) end of my ordeal.  I knew I still had at least 5 years of hormonal therapy to go. 

It was during that trip that I experienced some slight pain during, and bleeding after sex.  At first, I thought it was a one-off, unusual occurrence. Well, it kept happening, and it kept getting worse, until I could no longer tolerate having sex – it was just too painful, and it became physically impossible.  And, since my cancer was hormonal based, HRT was not an option for me.

So here I am, wanting to have sex with my husband whom I love so very much (who was my rock during my entire ordeal) but I can’t.  So I decided to go to a gynecologist - I had moved to the desert from another area, so I didn’t have one yet.  She was very nice, but didn’t give me a lot of options or encouragement to remedy the situation.  But I would not give up – I knew there had to be a solution and I was going to find it, even if that particular doctor didn’t have it. (Note to self: Trust your gut! If you don’t like one doctor’s opinion, go find another!)

The next doctor I saw was a God-send!  She not only prescribed an estrogen cream, but a vaginal lubricant for sex (although I like mine better), a body wash that is non-drying, and vaginal dilators.  Let me tell you, it is a process – BUT IT WORKED!!  I was able to have normal sex with my husband after about six months of hard work and commitment.  It’s a lot like going to the gym – you have to do it consistently to get results.  And you can’t just stop when you get to your goal – you have to continue.

This is not a subject that most people talk about, but I feel it is an important one.  Please do not let cancer stop you from having a sex life.  You, and your sex life, can thrive after cancer! 

sincerely,

guest blogger

Happily married, thriving after cancer and getting her sexy on

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cancer connection and our pandemic of the world by shay